Happy Halloween

Desiree and I live tucked away in the countryside. We are remote enough that we don't anticipate ever seeing trick-or-treaters. We did not buy any candy. While discussing the fact that today is Halloween, I said to Desiree, “It would be pretty freaky if a couple of kids did show up here looking for candy.”

'What would we do?” she asked.

“Not much we could do. I would have to go to the door and yell at the kids: ‘We have fish. That's all we have. Fish! Happy Halloween.’”

—Mitchell Hegman

Shifting Projects

My master ceiling project has stalled. I found a drywall finisher, but I am now waiting for his schedule to fit me in. While in waiting mode, I decided to push into the master bathroom and remove the base trim in there. We have been working on a remodel in there that will finish slightly behind the bedroom.

Interesting timing on removing the trim in the master bathroom. I first installed the trim in my house in late October and early November of 1991. Here I am, 32 years later, taking another run at things.

I don't have any photographs of my work on the trim from 32 years ago, but I did manage to dredge up a photograph of me painting some wall for the very first time. I am sharing that along with my more recent work.

Me Painting (October 1991)

Removed  Base Trim (October 2023)

Without Trim (October 2023)

—Mitchell Hegman

Craving Broccoli

When I was a kid, I would have preferred eating a bowl of rocks and bones to eating a couple of broccoli florets. At the time, I liked only carrots, corn (which is botanically a grain), and potatoes (technically tubers). Broccoli was too green to suit me. Additionally, my grandfather grew carrots, corn, and potatoes in his garden, but not broccoli. I figured that meant something.

At some inexact point in my adulthood, I started eating broccoli. Not only did I eat it, I started liking it. Yesterday, now way, way, way into adulthood, I found myself craving broccoli.

That’s weird.

The craving proved intense enough that I actually prepared some for myself. I never saw this one coming as a kid."

—Mitchell Hegman

Five Simple Rules for Living a Good Life

 

1. Don’t cook while naked.
2. Never play Bob Dylan when you are trying to romance someone.
3. Ignore the voices in your head when they urge you to invest in precious metals.
4. Don’t try riding a unicycle for the first time when everyone is watching.
5. Don’t fire an employee if they also happen to be the bosses’ kid.

—Mitchell Hegman

Lucky, Unlucky

A week ago, we enjoyed 80-plus degrees. Last night, we dipped down into single digits for a low. Of course, Montana is widely known for these extreme and often abrupt swings in temperature. The state still holds the world record for the greatest change in 24 hours. This occurred in Loma on January 15, 1972, when the temperature there rose 103 degrees, from -54 degrees Fahrenheit to 49 degrees.

Our changes are weird enough that many Arctic species of plants, which handily survive the long, bitter cold there, would perish during one of Montana’s wild swings.

Today, I am sharing the fate of two geraniums at the Hegman household. One lucky geranium lounged in the temperature-controlled sunroom for the spring and summer and remains there as of this writing. The other rather took a beating for the same length of time at the edge of the back deck. Sadly, this unlucky plant did not get toted inside before our sudden winter struck.

A bleak end for a non-native species.

Lucky Geranium

Unlucky Geranium

—Mitchell Hegman

Calling in an Early Winter

In yesterday's installment of this blog, I mentioned (okay, I extolled) Desiree's skills at decorating for Christmas—early Christmas decorating, I might add. Here in these parts, most folks won't crack open a storage box of decorations until after they've had a tiff with one of their relatives at a family Thanksgiving dinner.

Be that as it may, our house was decorated, and then, a mere twelve hours later, an early, brutal snowstorm slammed down on our valley. We're talking deep snow, strong winds, and cold. Usually, winter takes a few piddly practice runs at us before we get a storm like this.

So, I wonder, is this a coincidence, or is winter one-upping Desiree?

Snow (With Decorations in the Foreground)

Outside the Sunroom

—Mitchell Hegman

An Island Girl Adjustment

If you marry a Filipina, you will be required to make a few 'island girl adjustments' in your life. One such adjustment is in regard to Christmas. In the Philippine Islands, the celebration of Christmas spans the entirety of the 'ber' months. This means you will see Christmas decorations put on display beginning in September and continuing through December.

Desiree officially kick-started the season yesterday by decorating the inside of our house. Early or not, I must say, she is notably talented in her decorating.

“I like it,” I had to admit when I came home from a trip to town.

I am sharing three photographs featuring Desiree's early Christmas work. It's good stuff.

—Mitchell Hegman

Getting Something Done

Technically speaking, getting something done the wrong way is still getting something done.  This brings much comfort to me.

—Mitchell Hegman

The Deep

In a sense, the lake shuffling its waves against my property is two lakes. One of them is the surface water I see. This is the lake that, when becalmed, reflects both mountains and sky. This lake sometimes turns silver, sometimes cobalt blue, and sometimes dark and turbulent. Boats zip across miles of the undulating surface. This is the lake whose surface freezes solid before the turn of each year

The other lake lies below the surface. It's a secretive place where the landscape is hidden, and fish rule supreme. This time of year, as leaves turn and begin to drop into the shoreline waters, the lake clears of algae and murkiness.

The other day, I stood on my dock, peering down into the water, amazed at what I could see. I saw large rocks on the bottom, submerged branches long ago shed from the nearby willows, and submerged gardens. As I stood there, two large carp came roving by. The first fish, approaching three feet in length, swam close enough to allow me to take a couple of photographs in about five feet of water. The second carp was enormous – nearly four feet in length – and easily the largest fish I have ever seen in the lake. I actually yelped when I saw this monster. Unfortunately, the second fish remained deep enough to prevent a clear photograph.

A Roving Carp

—Mitchell Hegman

A Fine Scotch

When feeling particularly frisky, I will toss out a bit over $100 for a well-aged bottle of Scotch whisky. Next month, Sotheby’s will be one-upping me a bit. They are set to auction off what is considered the most sought-after Scotch available: The Macallan Adami 1926. That’s a 96-year-old single malt from the distiller Macallan.

Back in 2019, Sotheby’s sold a similar bottle for 1.5 million pounds ($1.8 million), a record for any bottle of wine or spirit. The bottle up for auction now is expected to reach $1.4 million. As you might imagine, The Macallan 1926 is rare. After being aged in sherry casks for over six decades, just 40 bottles of The Macallan 1926 were bottled. The bottle going up for sale has undergone reconditioning by the distillery ahead of the auction. This included replacing the cork and applying new glue to the corners of the bottle labels. The label on this bottle was designed by Italian painter Valerio Adami.

I can only imagine the sweet taste of Scotch finished for six decades in cherry casks. Thing is, if I could fling out the kind of money needed for the Scotch, I wouldn’t do so just to own a bottle of it; I would sip at the whisky and share it with my friends.

The Macallan 1926

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: apnews.com

A Chinook Arch

Thanks to a Chinook Arch, we experienced a fantastic sunset on October 18. Chinook Arches are unique to Alberta, Canada, and Montana. These distinctive cloud displays and their formation are closely tied to the unique geography of the region.

Chinook Arches occur near the Rocky Mountains and are characterized by their distinctive arch-like shape, spanning across the sky. These arches are formed as a result of the interaction between moist, warm air from the Pacific and the towering Rocky Mountains. Running north to south, the mountains act as a barrier to incoming Pacific weather systems. Eastward-roving moist air masses are forced to ascend as they encounter the mountains. As the air rises, it cools and condenses, forming clouds.

Descending on the eastern slopes of the mountains, the clouds sometimes create a distinct arch-like cloud formation, known as the Chinook Arch. The clouds that make up the arch typically have a lens or saucer-like shape. The arch can stretch for miles across the sky and is often backlit by the setting or rising sun, producing stunning visual effects. Chinook Arches are most prevalent during the fall and winter months in Alberta and Montana.

I am sharing two photographs of the arch from the sunset on October 18.

—Mitchell Hegman

No Good

 

Following is a list of things I am no good at:

1. Reverse psychology.
2. Pronouncing "anesthesia."
3. Multiplying numbers in my head.
4. Reversing in my boat.
5. Keeping earthworms in my refrigerator.
6. Remembering birthdays.
7. Opening the plastic bags provided in the produce section.
8. Avoiding the potato chip aisle.
9. Knitting.
10. Finding Waldo.
11. Political reasoning.
12. Gambling.
13. Feng Shui.

—Mitchell Hegman

Lucky Birds

Townsend’s Solitaires are lucky birds.  I say this in light of the astoundingly rich production of juniper berries this year.  Some of the Western juniper on my property are so loaded with chalky-colored berries they look as though covered with frost.  

Townsend’s Solitaires are among the few songbirds to live year-round in Montana, thriving in the harshest cold climates. Named after the renowned naturalist John Kirk Townsend, these robust birds stake out territories filled with juniper berries, fiercely guarding their chosen domains with a palpable sense of ownership.  While other species may struggle to find sustenance in the snow-covered landscapes, Townsend's solitaires flourish on the abundant juniper berries and sustain themselves throughout the chilly season. Their tenacity in guarding prized territories and resourcefulness in dining on juniper berries make Townsend's solitaires an interesting study.

As it so happens, I have a Townsend’s Solitaire that has staked out territory near my lakefront.  The bird scolded me as I walked near his junipers just yesterday.  In addition to posting a picture of a solitaire, I am sharing an image of one of the berry-loaded junipers within the birds claim.

A Townsend’s Solitaire

A Juniper Near Our Lakeshore

—Mitchell Hegman

Solitaire Image: allaboutbirds.org

Our Rainbow Heavens

In the Bible, the rainbow emerges as a symbol of God's covenant with humanity after the Great Flood, signifying a promise that such a cataclysmic event would not recur. The rainbow, with its vibrant array of colors stretching across the sky, has come to embody this promise throughout various religious and cultural traditions.

I must admit, I am still awestruck each time a rainbow appears before me. Early yesterday morning, with the sun fixed just above the eastern horizon, Desiree and I took a walk down our country road. On our return leg, a vivid rainbow appeared over our house.

Each time we leave the house for a walk, I say to Desiree, “Des, grab your phone so you can get a picture if we see Bigfoot or a UFO.” Yesterday, she left her phone at home. Fortunately, I had stuffed mine in my back pocket and managed to capture a few photographs of the rainbow.

—Mitchell Hegman

Rainbow Rocks

No age limitation exists for collecting rocks. Moreover, I am convinced that the practice is more instinctive than learned. This is something we are born to do and equipped to continue doing for a long time. Collecting pretty rocks is big fun.

Yesterday, Desiree and I took Elias (preschool), Mackenna (third grade), and their parents hunting for rocks on a wandering trek down to the lakeshore from my house. At the lakeshore, we skipped an appropriate number of rocks and gleaned a few “rainbow rocks” from an exposed shoulder of banded shale there.

Once we got back to the house, we spread out the day’s collection on the sunroom floor so that each of the kids could pick a handful to take home. If the children are anything like me, this day will etch a lifelong memory. I can remember the day that surrounds almost every rock in my collection. One thing is certain: Desiree and I had tremendous fun on the excursion.

I have posted a photograph of some rainbow rocks and another of Desiree sorting with the kids.

Rainbow Rocks

Sorting out the Best Rocks

—Mitchell Hegman

Napoleon Meets Edward R. Murrow

Napoleon Bonaparte happened to meet the famous 20th-century newsman Edward R. Murrow on the street late one night. The two men stopped on the concrete walk and appraised each other for a moment.

“I know you,” Napoleon announced after a moment. “You are that big-time news guy.”

“Murrow. Edward R.,” the newsman responded. “The R is important to me.”

“Yeah? What makes the R so important?”

“It has legs: literally and figuratively.”

“Okay, I accept that. The R appears to have stuck in your case. But I have a beef. Not about my name. My name is cool,” Napoleon stuffed his hand into his waistcoat as always depicted in pictures. “My beef is: why does everyone insist I was a short emperor? I am five-six. That’s pretty much average for a 19th-century Frenchman.”

Edward R. Murrow considered for a moment. “Maybe if you had gone by Napoleon R. Bonaparte, people would not have had the will to speculate on your stature.”

“You think? Just adding an R would have made a difference?”

“I do.”

“Alrighty, then. I am on my way again, Edward R. Murrow.” With that, Napoleon strode down the street again, his hand still stuffed in his shirt.

“Goodnight and good luck,” Murrow called out as Napoleon walked away.

—Mitchell Hegman

Ceiling Report, 10-15-2023

Over the last week, I have been applying drywall to the lowered ceiling constructed to create the lighted cove in our master bedroom. I have only one piece of sheetrock left to screw in place.

I am using #6 x 1¼” screws to fasten the sheetrock in place. That’s an interesting thing: screwing stuff in place when constructing something. In my experience, one of three problems will arise at some point: either you run out of screws before you finish, or the screws on hand are too short or too long to do the job. For this latest part of the project, I ran out of sheetrock screws just as I arrived at the last sheet.

The problem with screws is akin to the construction rule that the first extension cord you roll out will be five feet short, or the ladder you have is not tall enough. Today, armed with a fresh box of screws, I will screw the last piece of drywall in place.

—Mitchell Hegman

The Linden

The leaves on my linden tree have blushed with color—yellow, to be specific. I call the tree mine, but really, the tree belongs to both the earth and the Earth. I merely tend the tree. Soon, all the leaves will fall from the tree and tumble away across the ground like tossed dice.

Last year was Desiree’s first experience with a winter season. She expressed great concern about the linden (and other trees). “Are you sure they will come back to life next year?” she asked.

“Yep,” I told her. “Everything is just dormant. No worries.”

You might not think it possible to enjoy a season where the trees strip themselves bare and all the songbirds flee, but I love the warm afternoons and the cool, calm rest of the day and night. The skies are always crisp and colorful.

Next spring, Desiree, I, and my linden tree start anew. I will bring the water hose.

My Linden Tree

—Mitchell Hegman

Friday the 13th (Morning Report)

Today is Friday the 13th. Bad luck. But is it? Consider this: In 1896, on the 13th of October, the first public screening of a motion picture occurred in New Zealand. That’s big, good stuff.

Across the valley from me, amid the shunking of nail guns, new homes are framed in the broad open fields of my youth. New, yet nameless roads connect into grids conceived in faraway places.

In bug news: the last grasshoppers of the season have finally stumbled off into silence, making way for the emergence of slow and clunky conifer seed bugs, often called stink bugs.

Here at the house, we have tamped the last iris into the earth and clipped the last juniper Desiree wishes to “shape” to her pleasure.

End of morning report.

—Mitchell Hegman

New Technology

Adopting new technology can prove difficult.  My transition from a flip-phone to a smartphone, for example, proved fairly long and often frustrating.  With the camera, flashlight, email, internet browsing capabilities, and standard phone features, I referred to my device as my smarter-than-me-phone.  My interactions with the smartphone saw me incessantly mis-poking at the screen, swiping this way and that.  I was constantly turning the device to change the screen view.

The transition to texting more frequently also proved a struggle.  To this day, I tap all messages out using only my right index finger.  I am incapable of the lightning fast, two-thumb method adopted by more nimble folks.  Early on, one of my buddies overcame his texting battle by using a voice-to-text app.  While this proved handy for him, it became a new frustration for me.  He often dictated his messages and then fired them off to me without checking for accuracy in translation.  I ended up with some strange messages, stuff like this: “Aliens have landed, I will bring baked beans.”  Or this: “Mute us.  We will hack Miss Helena.”

Translation on the last message: “Meet us.  We will hike Mount Helena.”

Fortunately, my buddies texting has improved.  But I am still one-fingering my way into an uncertain smartphone future.

—Mitchell Hegman

Hope

I strive to keep a positive attitude in all regards. I try not to let the bad news that seems to always be stalking us to permanently cast shade on me. But the savagery of the Hamas terrorist attack in Israel is screaming at me. There is no equivalent to the evil manifested in what occurred. There is no justification.

I know revenge will be exacted, and I know it will only push Israel and her enemies farther apart. Emily Dickinson wrote, “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul…” I wonder if that is too small a thing just now.

—Mitchell Hegman

Something Albert Einstein Said

—If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.

—The environment is everything that isn't me.

—I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Peaches (Life Goes On)

A progressive disease gradually robbed Peaches, the dog, of her sight. Somewhere near a year ago, my sister Paula made the difficult but advisable decision to have the dog’s eyes surgically removed before the disease essentially caused them to burst, which was the likely final outcome.

Paula was initially horrified by the prospect of having her dog’s eyes removed. I thought such a thing might be an act of cruelty. But, having now spent a few days with Daisy, I am impressed with how well the dog is doing. It helps, I suppose, that Peaches spent the previous 12 or so sighted years in the same house. Watching the dog maneuver around the house, as well as throughout my sister’s small fenced yard, you would not suspect she is totally blind. She rarely bumps into anything. She is neither tentative nor faltering in any of her movements. Most importantly, Peaches seems content and utterly settled back into the same routines she entertained before losing her eyes.

Life goes on.

Peaches

—Mitchell Hegman

What Happens in Vegas

Vegas!

Following a lovely (often hilarious) wedding for my niece among the colonnades of Spanish Cypress trees, all the guests (wearing neon clothing) gathered for a boisterous (often hilarious) reception in a ballroom at the Green Valley Ranch. After the requisite speeches and food (including Filipino Lechon), everyone danced into the night with occasional stops at the photobooth. I am sharing a few images of what happened in Vegas.

People Among the Spanish Cypress Trees

Desiree at the Pool

Lechon

At the Photobooth

—Mitchell Hegman

The Other End of the Table

Desiree posted a photograph taken from one end of this table on Facebook, and now I am posting a photograph taken from the other end. Both photographs feature the gathering of two families for a wedding. Adrian and Amber, the couple seated at the front left, will be getting married later this afternoon at the Green Valley Ranch Resort in Las Vegas (technically Henderson), Nevada.

Amber is my niece.

Desiree and I, along with my sister Paula and her husband Russ (the parents of the bride), are at the far end of the table in my picture.

Interesting fact: Adrian’s mother is from the Philippines, as is Desiree. So, here we go again, merging mountain people and island people together in a fine celebration. Good stuff, this!

The Merged Family

—Mitchell Hegman

Sleeping With Words

Over the years, I have learned that I do better if I keep random thoughts in my head and sleep for a night or two with intended public pronouncements.

—Mitchell Hegman

The Last Man Standing

LED lighting sources at the consumer level didn’t really make a splash until about fifteen years ago. In the time since, they have gotten vastly more efficient, less expensive, and offer almost limitless variety in color and control. I began a serious effort to replace my fluorescent and incandescent light sources ten years ago.

I am down to one incandescent bulb in my house. The last man standing is a bulb in a bedside lamp in the master bedroom. The lamp functions on a triac-controlled dimmer.

The bulb is a 150-watt behemoth. An equivalent LED replacement would consume a mere 20 watts. But I have made a firm decision to let this lamp burn on. I like the way the triac dims the bulb down to the smallest candleflame of light. And, as a typically finicky electrician, I feel somewhat obligated to resist change just a little.

Last Man Standing

—Mitchell Hegman

With Permission

I have always contended that few things can compete with Montana’s crisp, clear sky in the fall months of September and October. Yesterday, during a drive along Lake Helena Drive, I stopped in the middle of the road just before we reached the Causeway. “Look at that, Desi. That’s pretty!” I pointed out to the lake, which lay perfectly calm and reflective below rafts of clouds spilling forth.

Desiree not only agreed; she hopped out of the car and captured a few images as I pulled the car off the road a bit. With her permission, I am sharing one of her photographs.

Lake Helena

—Mitchell Hegman

My Hugging Pillow

I sleep with two pillows. One is for resting my head. The other is a 'hugging' pillow. I typically pull the hugging pillow up against my chest and squish into it. The weird thing is, the pillow for my head can be just about any sort of pillow, but the hugging pillow needs to present certain attributes. Mostly, it needs to be soft and capable of being scrunched down easily. It also needs to be tough enough to take a punch or kick now and then.

Last night, I experienced a hugging pillow issue. When changing our bedding, Desiree also slipped a new pillowcase on my hugging pillow. One side of the case is covered with faux fur.

The furry pillow threw me off. I woke several times late in the night only to find myself grappling with what felt like the offspring of a buffalo and a marshmallow. After delivering a few punches to the pillow and flipping the position of the furry side, I managed to drift off to sleep again.

I think I can learn to sleep well with the new pillowcase, but I expect a few weird dreams to be generated by it.

—Mitchell Hegman

Baby Storage

I will freely admit to knowing very little about infants.  I mean, I know which end you feed, and I know that you immediately hand them off to someone else when they start squirming or crying.  But that is the extent of my knowledge.

Strictly by chance, I learned something new about babies.  Specifically, I learned about proper storage of your baby.  Yesterday, I purchased two discount storage bins.  A sticker affixed to the inside of the lids made it abundantly clear that the bins were not designed for long-term storage of your baby.

That’s some pretty good information for a guy like me.

I am sharing a couple smartphone photographs of the bins in the name of public service.

—Mitchell Hegman

More True Stuff

• If I pick up any kind of fork and eat salad with it, it’s a salad fork.
• “Two to Two,” is a grammatically correct manner in which to say “Two minutes until two o’clock.”
• There must be losers, except in marriage.  There can be none in that.
• A shrimp’s heart is in its head.
• Keith Richards often has the lowest string removed from his guitar, so that he plays a five-string instrument.  
• We are capable, collectively, of moving mountains, but still cannot successfully negotiate a four-way stop.
• If you consider everything, you are not going to get anywhere.
• The person who convinced others to apply mud on their faces in the name of improving complexion may be the most impressive individual who ever lived.

—Mitchell Hegman