The Rocky Mountain Front (May, 2023)

The Great Plains stretch in gently measured expanses for over a thousand miles before ultimately washing up against the stately peaks of the Rocky Mountain Front in Montana. The Front is where the boundless meets the formidable, and here, each spring, amid a symphony of contrasting colors and beautifully sculpted peaks, a most breathtaking convergence unfolds. Like waves crashing upon a rock-strewn shore, the grasses of the plains surrender and give way to sprawling displays of wildflowers ascending the foothills and then scrambling up the flanks of the Rocky Mountains themselves.

This year, the flowers are particularly prolific and showy. Expansive flourishes of arrowleaf balsamroot are attended by more modest displays of penstemon, larkspur, and lupine.

I am sharing a few images I captured with Desiree during a six-hour drive along the Front.

Awash With Arrowleaf Balsamroot

Meeting the Mountains

Desiree at the Sun River Game Range

—Mitchell Hegman

Clusters of Fairy Slippers

Calypso bulbosa, a member of the orchid family, is a small and rare perennial plant sure to capture the attention of anyone lucky enough to stumble upon one. The flower's unique and intricate design features a vibrant pink or mauve lip, contrasting beautifully against its pale yellow, purple-spotted sepals. Delicately arched petals resemble dainty slippers, hence the name 'fairy slippers.'

Fairy slippers thrive in the cool and moist environments of Montana's forests, often preferring areas shaded by coniferous trees. These elusive flowers can be found scattered throughout the western half of the state.

While fairy slippers may be small in size, roughly the size of the end of your pinky finger, their ecological importance is significant. These captivating wildflowers often rely on specific fungal relationships to assist in their germination and growth. By serving as indicators of forest health, their presence provides valuable insights into the overall ecological balance of their habitats.

While hiking near my cabin, I found several large clusters of fairy slippers. I have never seen such large collections of these flowers. Usually, I find them in singles or pairs.

I am posting photographs of two clusters I found.

Fairy Slippers

—Mitchell Hegman

A Study in Blue (Lake Helena)

On a drive into town, Desiree and I stopped at an access for Lake Helena just to take in the views.  After several days of gray skies and rain, the big blue sky and the calm, reflective surface of the lake sky impressed us appropriately.

Lake Helena

—Mitchell Hegman

Tracking Mitch

This time of year, you don’t need a sophisticated electronic device for tracking me.  A flourish of spring weeds will do the trick.  To determine where I’ve been, simply follow the lines of weeds I pulled and flung onto the road.

—Mitchell Hegman

Refrigerator Proud

I've seen my share of teenagers crashing. I'm talking about kids becoming wrecks emotionally, falling in with a bad crowd, or diving deep into drugs and alcohol. Too many fail to graduate from high school.

I have witnessed this in my friends, the children of my friends, and now the grandchildren of my friends. I thought about this the other day as I affixed the graduation announcement for a friend's daughter to my refrigerator with a magnet. I have likely hung several dozen of these on my refrigerator over the years.

But this felt different, not as perfunctory as all the previous times. Honestly, I felt righteously proud posting the graduation notice. Not just good stuff, this. Great stuff.

—Mitchell Hegman

Our Cousin (The Banana)

As near as I can tell, our nearest relative in the fruit section of your local grocery is the banana. I say this after having spent a good three or four minutes scouring the internet for information in this regard.

While it might seem surprising, humans and bananas share approximately 50% of their DNA. I am a bit unsure as to whether I should be alarmed or comforted by sharing so much of my makeup with any kind of fruit, and I wonder what exactly we are sharing.

Maybe when I walk into a room for something (as I just did) and then realize I forgot why I went in there... maybe that's banana stuff. Or when I'm not strong enough to lift something.

On the other hand, what about banana sundaes?

—Mitchell Hegman

Image: rastaimposta.com

The Sky Is My Garden

I posted my first blog on January 3, 2010. As best I can remember, the blog captured two readings: one from me and one from my wife. I reposted the blog about ten years ago, and just for fun, I am reposting my first blog again today. I have also shared the photograph (taken from behind my house) that I shared alongside the blog.

The Sky Is My Garden

The sky is my garden. By day, wind tends rows of clouds or scattered birds. By night, stars blossom above the zinc-colored mountains. They say that this Montana is 'Big Sky Country,' but that is not near enough to explain things. In the heat of summer, the sky ripples and spurs warped ravens across the prairie. At minus twenty, the whole sky sparkles, and the ice on the frozen lake below my house cries and moans. Clouds lift. Clouds drift away. The sky is a moving garden.

—Mitchell Hegman

Beyond Pinoy

"Pinoy" is a colloquial term used to refer to a Filipino or someone of Filipino-descent. It originated from the word "Filipino" itself, with the last syllable "no" being reversed to form "Pinoy." The term is widely used in the Philippines and among Filipinos abroad as a way to identify themselves and express pride in their heritage.

Desiree believes that we need to merge "Pinoy" with "American" to describe people such as herself who are now rooted in both places. She thinks "Amerinoy" might fit the bill.

Here are three other possibilities: "Pinerican," "Ampinoy," or "Pinoycan."

Curiously enough, all of these merged names could pass as the common name for a drug used for treating constipation.

—Mitchell Hegman

The Weirdest Behavior

I asked ChatGPT (the artificial intelligence bot) this: Excluding humans, what is the weirdest behavior exhibited by an animal in the world?

ChatGPT gave me the following response:

“The animal kingdom is filled with fascinating and sometimes bizarre behaviors. One particularly peculiar behavior is displayed by the male bowerbirds. These birds are renowned for their elaborate and intricate courtship displays involving the construction of intricate structures called bowers.

Male bowerbirds go to great lengths to create visually impressive bowers in order to attract females. They meticulously arrange and decorate their bowers with a variety of objects, such as colorful flowers, shells, stones, feathers, and even human-made items like bottle caps or pieces of plastic. The birds carefully select and arrange these items in specific patterns to create an aesthetically pleasing display.

What makes this behavior truly peculiar is that it serves no functional purpose other than attracting mates. The bowers themselves are not nests or shelters but rather elaborate stage sets for courtship rituals. The female bowerbirds visit these bowers, inspecting them and the male's performance before deciding on a potential mate.”

It figures, I suppose, that sex would be at the root of the weirdest behavior.  I have posted a brief video featuring bowerbird wooing behaviors.

—Mitchell Hegman

Problems

• If an appliance isn't working, just like in the movies, it's a bad diode.
• Car won't start but turns over? That's going to cost at least $2,500.
• Finding a wood tick on you can only mean one thing: it's a wood tick, and it's on you.
• You made your final payment on your car loan? You'll need a new car within a year.
• The problem with making your own plumbing repairs is this: for every part you replace, two leaks appear downstream.
• Legally reducing your name to two vowels, while notable, will mostly brand you as a weirdo.

—Mitchell Hegman

For Every Picture There is a Longer Video

I have always been fond of cameras and taking pictures. I talked my parents into providing me with a cheap Kodak camera even before reaching my teens. A quality 35mm SLR camera was one of the first major purchases I made when I started earning decent wages. I soon followed with my own darkroom equipment for processing black and white photographs. I have been busy taking pictures ever since.

Desiree is different. She has gravitated solidly to capturing videos. She is every bit as dedicated to that craft as I am to mine. I will admit, I enjoy the videos and often encourage her to capture things as I stand beside her taking photographs.

On our drive back home from Yellowstone National Park, we found ourselves on the road for twelve hours. If you do the math on that, you would figure Desiree might be able to video... maybe... something close to twelve hours of video if she captured everything. I swear to you, she somehow managed to get fifteen hundred hours of video on the drive. And that isn't counting all of the fuzzy bison videos.

—Mitchell Hegman

Driving Through Yellowstone National Park

Taking the shortest route, you can drive from Gardiner, Montana, to my home in a bit over three hours. Yesterday, Desiree and I spent twelve hours on an alternate route. The majority of those hours were spent touring Yellowstone National Park—Desiree's first trip from Mammoth to West Yellowstone by way of the park's interior.

The excursion could not have been better. We experienced no traffic and few people until we reached the geyser basins. Desiree and I were the only people peering down from three scenic overlooks above the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone. In addition to viewing that, we visited most of the park's notable thermal features. Amazingly, we had no more than a ten-minute wait to witness an eruption of Old Faithful.

On the wildlife spectrum, we saw most of the animals we hoped to see, including bison, elk, black bear, and a moose (Desiree's first encounter with one).

I am posting three photographs Desiree shared with me. I love seeing this through her eyes.

308-Foot Tall Lower Falls of the Yellowstone

A Scraggly Moose

Black Pool at West Thumb (Yellowstone Lake in the Background)

—Mitchell Hegman

Teaching in Yellowstone National Park

Teaching continuing education classes for the electrical crew at Yellowstone National Park is my easily favorite gig. I enjoy the crew, and the class venues at Mammoth Hot Springs are always interesting. I can always expect encounters with some manner of critter.

Normally, bison or elk populate the area around the venue. Yesterday, we held the class at the grade school in the Mammoth Hot Springs employee housing village. Throughout the entire day, a group of elk milled about just outside the classroom.

That’s good stuff.

Elk Outside the Classroom

—Mitchell Hegman

Entering Yellowstone Park

Desiree and I drove to Mammoth Hot Springs in Yellowstone National Park yesterday afternoon. We stayed overnight in Gardiner, and today I am teaching a class about significant changes in the 2020 edition of the National Electrical Code for the park electricians.

Oddly enough, I enjoy the Code in much the same way I enjoy poetry, and I really enjoy teaching the crew in Yellowstone. But this trip is most notable because Desiree is seeing the park for the very first time. As we were driving over Bozeman Pass and taking in the scenery, she announced, “I love Montana.”

“Glad to hear that,” I responded. 'I love it, too.'

On Friday, we will be driving through the park and exiting by way of West Yellowstone. I am hoping for a lot of encounters with game on the way through.

Today, I have posted two photographs taken when we entered the park.

Desiree at Roosevelt Arch

The Two of Us

—Mitchell Hegman

Dried Fish

While I'm guessing you already know dried fish is a thing, you may not know that dried fish is really, really a thing. I'm not talking about historically; I mean right now.

Dried fish is an especially big thing for Filipinos. And if, like me, your spouse is from the island nation, dried fish will impact you in two ways. First, you'll be eating dried fish in some fashion. Secondly, you'll be bringing home a large, well-sealed package of dried fish on the plane every time you fly back home from a visit to the islands.

The other day, Desiree scored a few packages of dried fish—which she's been craving. Fortunately, I truly like fish in my diet, so I'm pretty excited about trying a few dishes with the dried fish.  The only weird thing about the dried fish is the eyes.  When I scooped up a handful of some really small fish for  a closer examination, I found dozens of eyes staring up at me.

A Handful of Tiny Dried Fish

Desiree Holding a Dried Fish

—Mitchell Hegman

An Island Ceiling

In the realm of interior design, ceilings often serve as an overlooked canvas. However, in the Philippines, they take on a whole new dimension, becoming architectural and design masterpieces. Filipino homes frequently feature intricate ceiling designs, with coves, soffits, creative indirect lighting, and elaborate trim taking center stage.

Desiree expressed interest in jazzing up our master bedroom ceiling using some of the same island design aspects. I immediately took to that idea. I especially like the idea of a lighted cove. Over the course of the last week, I have been framing some new structures on our ceiling. Somewhere in the approach of winter, Desiree and I will take on a full refinish in the master bedroom and will complete the ceiling at that time.

Nothing better than a new project!

Master Bedroom Ceiling

—Mitchell Hegman

No Shortage of Blossoms, No Shortage of Bees

Given our overly long, cold winter, my Mayday tree started off late this year.  But the tree has made up for that with a spectacular bloom. Every branch is fully laden with clusters of white flowers.

By mid-afternoon yesterday, the entire tree filled with honeybees – hundreds of them.  Between the sweet scent of the blossoms and the humming of the bees, walking near the tree was enough to send me into a kind of sensory overload.

I have posted a short video of the tree and the bees at work.  If you turn your sound up, you should be able to hear the drone of the bees.

Bees in the Mayday Tree

—Mitchell Hegman

Me and Mine

 The Brothers Bright and a beautiful, dark song.

—Mitchell Hegman

Video Link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neCS21rPTHU

Rocks and Plants (Lemon Tree Report)

My lemon tree recently took off on a growth spurt and is going to need a larger place for wiggling its feet.  Wondering if placing rocks at the bottom of a new planter might be a good idea for drainage, I asked ChatGPT (the artificial intelligence chatbot) if using rocks for drainage on a potted lemon tree is advisable.  Here is the answer the chatbot generated:       

“Using rocks as a drainage method for a potted lemon tree is not recommended. Lemon trees, like many potted plants, prefer well-draining soil to prevent waterlogging and promote healthy root growth. Instead of using rocks at the bottom of the pot, it is more effective to ensure that the pot has proper drainage holes and use a well-draining soil mixture specifically formulated for citrus plants. This will allow excess water to drain freely without the risk of creating a perched water table that could potentially harm the roots.”

I have made a lifetime habit of ignoring the advice of people smarter than me.  I don’t think I should be bucking that trend at this stage of life by listening to a smarter chatbot.

I like rocks better than holes and shall be going with rocks.

Posted is a photograph of the lemon tree, the new pot (with rocks in the bottom), and a Cold Smoke beer as a reference for size.

My Lemon Tree

—Mitchell Hegman

Hitching a Ride

While driving along about a quarter-mile down the road after leaving my house, a blur of motion caught my attention at the bottom of my windshield.  For an instant, I thought a leaf had swept across the driver’s side wiper blade, but when I glanced down for a closer look, the head of a chipmunk popped up from under the edge of the hood.

I immediately stopped my car at the center of the country road.  “You need to jump off!” I yelled to the chipmunk.

The chipmunk didn’t move.

I found my phone and snapped a couple photographs.  “You need to go,” I repeated.  Thinking I could urge the critter to leave by freaking him out, I turned on the windshield wipers.

The chipmunk vanished under the hood.

Reluctantly, I jumped out of the car and opened the hood.  Even before I had the hood fully raised, I saw the chipmunk shoot out off the edge of the road and dive into a patch of sagebrush.

“And stay out, you little brat!” I called after him.

The Hitcher

—Mitchell Hegman

Twelve Years

Twelve years ago, on the bluest morning hour of May 11, Uyen Hegman slipped away from us, having lost her battle with cancer. She slipped away quietly as the stars shuffled on to make way for the unstoppable light of the next day.

I woke this morning from a dream in which Uyen returned from her long absence. She found me so she could show me an alabaster castle she had purchased, but the dream proved all too fleeting.

Mostly, I remember that smile of hers.

Uyen in California (1987)

Uyen in Huckleberries (2005)

—Mitchell Hegman

A Brother-In-Law Report

The other day, I shared a blog about how Terry, my brother-in-law, and I both misidentified a backhoe starting as the mating call of a big bird.

Terry, along with his knack at bird call identification, is a whiz at mechanical stuff.  I am sharing a photograph showing the new line configuration he tried on his weed eater.  I find the configuration aesthetically pleasing, but Terry assured me it does not work well for cutting the weeds.

Terry’s Weed Eater

—Mitchell Hegman

A Brief, Updated List of Facts

 

• You are never too old to be utterly stupid.
• There may never be an appropriate time to bellow out: “Bingo!  Bango! Mango!”  
• Nobody is obligated to tell you are out in public with your shirt inside-out.
• We are still waiting for a great kazoo artist to rise to the top.
• Getting comfortable with everything you do is merely setting yourself up to hit yourself in the head with a hammer.
• If you can’t be all you can be – at least be annoying so everyone remembers you.

—Mitchell Hegman

Birdwatching Slang

As a form of repentance for misidentifying a backhoe as a big bird the other day, I spent an hour or so visiting an assortment of websites dedicated to birds and birdwatching.  Bird watchers are a sober and dedicated bunch.  Turns out, they have also developed their own language.

Posted below are a few of the slang terms you might hear while birding:

Bins: Binoculars.

Butter Butt: Yellow-rumped warbler.

Dip (or dip out): To miss seeing a bird which you were looking for.

Dude: A casual birder who likes to go birdwatching but isn’t overly dedicated.

LBJ: Little Brown Job – Any small, brownish bird that you have not been able to identify.

Lifer (Life Bird): A bird species you have never seen before in your life.

Moo-Tweet: Cowbirds.

Nemesis: A bird that has eluded a birdwatcher despite multiple attempts to see it.

Nottabird: Something that looks like a bird from a distance but once binoculars or a spotting scope is used, turns out not to be a bird at all.

Patch: A local area often frequented by birdwatchers. 

Spuh: Birds that are only identifiable to genus level (from “sp.”, abbreviated form of species).

Twitch: The act of traveling a long distance to see a rare bird.

Twitcher: A birdwatcher obsessed with keeping and sharing lists.

Usual Suspects: Birds you expect to see in an area each time you go there.

Warbler Neck: A pain in the neck from studying birds high in the treetops.

—Mitchell Hegman

We Heard a Big Bird

My brother-in-law, Terry, and I drove up to see how my cabin was holding up as the last of the melting snow overfills the creek in the nearby meadow.  While standing alongside the cabin and enjoying a swath of sunlight amid the tree-shadows, a somewhat sharp, repetitive sound reached us from somewhere up-creek.

“That’s a new one,” I remarked.  “That’s a big bird.”

The call stopped, picked up again, stopped, picked up.

“That’s a big bird looking for a mate,” Terry said with authority.

“I think you’re right,” I responded.  “But what is it?  What does a great blue heron sound like?  Maybe that’s what it is.”

Neither Terry nor I are birders.  I cannot identify birds by their calls.  I don’t know a twee-chur-twee-twee from a sputter-sputter-chick-chick.

As we listened, our big bird called one last time and then suddenly thumped into a new form of sound.

Oh, jeez.

Not a bird.  Instead, the sound we heard was a backhoe upstream cranking a few times before starting.  We had noticed on the machine on drive in.

“Did we both just do that?” Terry asked me.  “Did we both think that was a bird?”

“Yup.  We are a couple morons.”

“But we don’t need to tell anybody about it.”

“Nope.  No need for that.”

The Final Snowbank Alongside the Cabin (Near the Big Bird)

—Mitchell Hegman

Formatting Errors

I regularly skirmish with electronic devices and the associated software. For the last four days, I have been in a battle like no other.

I purchased a small twenty-four-dollar label printer – a device capable of connecting with either a computer or smartphone. Thinking I would prefer to work from my computer, I downloaded the proper driver and thought I might print a practice label.

I'll be brief here: nope.

An error popup appeared when I clicked on the label maker icon. After a chat with tech support here in the USA, a three-day string of emails with China, and multiple downloads, my computer continued providing the same error.

Near the end of day three, I downloaded an app to my smartphone and took a swing at connecting with that. Surprisingly, the printer and phone are on speaking terms, but print formatting is evading me thus far.

I have posted a photograph of my best work thus far. You may be able to make out my name in the upper right.  I must admit, this is the most frustrating twenty-four-dollar expenditure I have ever made.

My Best Label to Date

—Mitchell Hegman

My List of Worries About Artificial Intelligence

A lot of knowledgeable people are sounding alarms on the potential dangers posed by Artificial Intelligence (AI).  Not least among these is the fear AI will deem humans “the enemy” and wipe us out.  Following is my own list of worries about AI:

• I worry that AI will conjure up a valid reason for a second scientific study to determine if flies conduct a loop or side-roll to land on the ceiling.
• AI could produce a bunch of robots to scour the Earth and pick up all the good rocks before I get there.
• A nefarious AI may deem my entire cluster of computer and smartphone passwords as invalid.
• What if, using the influence of all media, AI made disco music popular again?
• Spiders.  AI has the capability to turn every icon I interact with into crawling spider icons.
• Sociologists fear AI could create a new religion and draw in masses of adherents.  Imagine a popular faith invented by machines.    

—Mitchell Hegman 

A Rough Beginning

While shuffling through paperwork in my den, I found a set of crude sketches in a notebook.  The drawings were produced a couple years ago by a roofer and I while debating ideas for roofing transitions and flashing ideas for attaching the sunroom to my house.  The drawings are both spare and ugly and not likely to make a lick of sense to anyone else looking at them.

For me, the sketches make perfect sense and I looked upon them fondly.

I have posted a photograph of the rudimentary drawing along with a photograph of the now finished sunroom.

As you can see, we strayed a bit from our first concept.  A good thing, that.

The Sketch

The Sunroom

—Mitchell Hegman

Free Verse

Danielle Steel has penned 204 books.  Only one of her works is a book of free verse poetry.  Curious about her poetry, I hunted down and read a few Danielle Steel poems.  I must admit, I enjoyed a few of her lines and liked a couple poems as a whole.  I found Steel’s poems reaching far deeper in imagination and imagery than those of Rod Mckuen, a man credited with more than 200 books of poetry and one of the best-selling American poets of all time.

—Mitchell Hegman

Taking Measure

In May of 2014, I began writing the first draft of a book that details the functions and uses of digital multimeters (DMMs). Weirdly enough, I really enjoy using and talking about DMMs. In addition to writing the book, titled 'Taking Measure', I developed in-person training and various lab sessions to demonstrate DMM measurement procedures and possible pitfalls.

Much of the work in the book, including layout, illustrations, and editing, is thanks to the efforts of John (Jug) Jones and High Mark Media. Yesterday, we launched several social media platforms and 'went live' with sales of 'Taking Measure'. Here we are: two kids from East Helena with a book.

Dragging 'Taking Measure' to the finish line proved much more difficult than I ever imagined. In addition to the book, John and I have produced dozens of videos to accompany the written word.

Take a glance at (and purchase a copy of) 'Taking Measure' at www.takingmeasure.net. Also, find and follow 'Taking Measure' on Facebook.

Taking Measure

—Mitchell Hegman

One Year

As of today, Desiree has been here in Montana for a year.

In her first year, Desiree has harvested huckleberries, snowshoed in four feet of snow, unearthed dinosaur bones, tubed behind my pontoon boat, found sapphires, and spotted her first grizzly bear on the Rocky Mountain Front.

And, oh yeah, there was that day last June when we got married.

Good stuff.

—Mitchell Hegman