NEW DAILY ROUTINE:
Immerse self in work. You are fine. Thank anyone for asking. Work early. Work late. When you go home, feed both cats. Pat the big cat’s flanks with a rolled-up newspaper. Allow the small cat to jump up on the counter so you can rub your faces together. Stand at the bay window and watch the clouds for a while. You are allowed to smile if you see a pink one floating by. Talk to someone who is not there. Go to bed early, say 8:00. Pull blankets over your head to make darkness, curl into a ball, and begin sobbing. Sob until sleep slowly presses you into nothingness.
***
LIST:
• One high heeled shoe
• Two red origami cranes
• Three empty dressers
• Four old birthday cards
• Five times, stop and smell the green pillow she slept on
--Mitchell Hegman
I have not felt your emptiness but felt a complete emptiness when I lost my baby at eight months of pregnancy...It never goes away but eventually you can truly smile and find wholeness again. Take your time and know she is wanting you to live happy. God Bless your heart.
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