A Bad Attitude plus a Twenty Percent Gratuity

Insult comics have been with us for a while.  Don Rickles immediately comes to mind.  More recently there is Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog.  If you are unfamiliar with Triumph, I can give you a taste of his rapid-fire and unsavory invectives.  While visiting French-speaking Quebec and addressing a French person who did not speak English, he said: “Pardon me, I only know your basic expressions like ‘I surrender’.”  This is Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog speaking on stage with Jon Bon Jovi: “So you’re acting now, you’re in a vampire movie, yes?  That’s good.  Finally, a role that requires you to suck.”

You get the idea.

I mention all of this after having a late lunch on Sunday afternoon at Dick’s Last Resort.  Dick’s is located inside the Excalibur on the Las Vegas Strip.

They serve a tasty “sammich” at Dick’s.  More importantly, the servers there have a really bad attitude.  They are sarcastic and unconventional.  We took a table for ten and were immediately given the task of passing out our own settings and spreading our own paper table covering.  Our server, a young woman in her twenties, immediately took to calling me “grandpa.”  When she returned with our drinks and started setting them on the table, Debbie, the woman sitting across from me, started reaching for the drink intended for my sister.  “What in the hell are you doing?” our server admonished.  “That’s not for you!  Try and remember what you ordered.  Okay?  This stuff is not that hard.  What’s wrong with you?”

She picked on Debbie from then on.

I was saved.

The servers at Dick’s also create paper hats with totally off-color statements written on them and then place them on everyone at the table.  I have posted a fairly poor smarter-than-me-phone photograph from our lunch.  It might be better if you cannot make out exactly what the hats say.  I think you should go there and get your own.

We all enjoyed our time at Dick’s Last Resort.  Our condescending little server made for great fun.

  We left her with a twenty percent gratuity.

--Mitchell Hegman