I Got into a Pillow Fight and the Pillows Won

Saturday, I purchased new bedding and new pillows.  For some reason (let’s go with stupidity for the moment) I decided pillows of a firmer nature were in order.  My habit is to rest my head on one pillow, hug a second one and then allow a third pillow to more or less orbit around the bed with me.  On occasion, the third pillow becomes the hugging pillow if I push my normal hugging pillow onto the floor at some unnamed point in the night.

Sunday night, I used my new bedding and pillows for the first time.  The pillows had a lovely new scent—sweet but earthy at the same time.  This will be great, I thought as I flopped onto my bed to sleep.  Change is good.

Change is not good.

I did not sleep well.  The pillows totally kicked my ass.  I woke the first time with an aching arm.  I woke a second time to my hugging pillow trying to shove me off the bed.  I woke a third time to the feeling I was lying on a steep hillside and realized that two of the pillows had heaved me only halfway atop them.  The fourth time I came awake to a rhinoceros-sized cat and a pillow elephant on my chest and face.  I woke once more with an aching arm.

All night long the pillows abused me.   When I finally got out of bed for good on Monday, both my left arm and my neck were stiff and aching.

I tried my new pillows again last night.  Midway through my sleeping, having an experience similar to Sunday, I grabbed a hugging pillow from another bed and slept through the rest of the night.

--Mitchell Hegman