Park Differently

I have a parking problem. 

I wrote previously about my shortcomings (perhaps not a strong enough word) when it comes to parallel parking.  Basically, if you want me to parallel park, I am going to need more than one steering wheel and a whole lot more room.  And don’t try to hold me to being within eighteen inches of the curb.

In your run-of-the-mill parking lot, with curbs and islands and painted lines, I also struggle.  I have, for example, a tendency to park aslant relative to the painted lines.  The ass of my car is often hanging out.  If parking next to a curb, I am either too near or too far from curb.  Sometimes, I require three attempts to get situated properly in my spot. 

Yesterday, at a grocery store parking lot, I saw something interesting.  What I mean by interesting is behavior every bit as silly as mine.  As I walked across the lot, a horn blared not far away.  Looking in that direction, I saw a man in a truck honking to warn a woman that she was about to drive her van smack over the center of an island in the parking lot.

Did that stop her?

Ab-si-tively (my own word) not!

She bucked right over that island, groceries slamming around in the van, and drove away.

I was very proud of her commitment to holding her driving line.

Maybe that’s my problem.  I am not committed enough to my own unique way of parking.  I should embrace crooked parking.

My new motto could be: Park Differently!

--Mitchell Hegman