Welcome to the 2017! This year, like a lot of other people, I have decided to adopt a few New Year’s resolutions as a way to make myself a better person. The key to successful resolutions is not making them too ambitious. With that in mind, here are my five resolutions for 2017.
1. I intend to be nicer to ducks. I am not sure what that looks like, exactly, but I am going to do it.
2. I am going to buy some fireworks for the turn of next year because the fireworks we touched-off at midnight last night were spectacular!
3. I am going to eat one less potato chip in 2017 than I ate in 2016. Okay. You got me here. I did not actually count how many chips I ate last year. I intend to achieve this intuitively.
4. This year, I am going to learn the name of the weedy creeper thing with tiny purple flowers that grows in places where the earth has been disturbed.
5. I am going to be more adult in the way I eat spaghetti this year.