Let me tell you about America. To begin, we have an inordinate number of actors, realtors, car salesmen, and oilmen. We also have a few cowboys. One of the cowboys once stepped inside a café where I was eating breakfast and teased our good-looking waitress. That occurred in a town named Wisdom. Wisdom is just down the road, a statement that has a nice, distinct ring to it. Wisdom, Montana, and West Yellowstone, Montana, seem perpetually to compete to provide America's coldest temperature during the daily winter weather reports.
America:
the nation.
America
is a great military force. Some of our forces are presently hovering over a
country called Iran, which, coincidentally, has a few oilmen and lots of oil.
We,
I mean America, again, also landed men on the moon and returned them home. On a
smaller scale, we sometimes carefully cut women open and insert fake boobs in
them. Long before this stuff, some of our soldiers chased Indian men, women,
and children across mostly barren plains. Just up the road a spell (as they
like to say here) is the Big Hole National Battlefield. At that location, in
August of 1877, the Nez Perce fought against the 7th Infantry Regiment.
In
other words, they fought against America.
As
an American, I like birds.
—Mitchell
Hegman
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