My Contribution to Christmas

Let it be known that I have made my contribution for Christmas this year. More precisely, I have helped with decorating. Luckily, I had my phone in hand and was able to fully document my doings. If you examine the foreground of the photograph I have shared, you’ll see a red ornament on the carpet. Somehow, the ornament released itself from Desiree’s fireplace decorations and fell to the floor. Doing my fair share, I picked the ornament up off the floor and set it on the mantel so Desiree can put it back where it rightfully belongs.

You’re welcome, Christmas!

Ornament Down

—Mitchell Hegman

Ceiling Update, 12-6-2023

Yesterday, a drywaller applied perfatape along with the first coat of joint compound on the sheetrock for the new ceiling in the master bedroom. I considered taping the ceiling myself, but thought better of it after watching a few how-to videos. Drywall finishing is not the type of work that fits my personality. I would fiddle and fuss with the mud too much and likely drive myself nuts fretting about the end results. I can handle watching everything dry after someone else has done the work.

Taped Ceiling

—Mitchell Hegman

Crazy Cat People

We have all heard stories of the crazy cat lady. You know the lady we are talking about. She lives with 23 cats. She dresses some of the cats in doll clothes and allows all of them to eat at the dinner table with her. The only question is, was she crazy before she started cohabitating with cats, or did the cats push her over the edge?

Along with recalling the crazy cat lady, you likely recall the cliché “dogs have owners, cats have staff.” It’s true. As someone who lived with as many as three cats at a time, I can attest to the fact that cats will tweak your brain over time.

When I lived with three cats, I sometimes felt like nothing more than a meow-operated canned cat food opener.

Turns out science might be able to prove that cats drive us crazy. A recent review of 17 separate studies conducted by researchers from the University of Queensland, Australia, found that individuals exposed to cats before the age of 25 had approximately twice the odds of developing schizophrenia. The research team used meta-analysis of existing research from 11 countries, including the US and UK, published over the last 44 years.

Scientists postulate that the link to mental disorder is likely due to a parasite found in pet cats called Toxoplasma gondii, which invades the body via a bite. The parasite can then enter the central nervous system and affect neurotransmitters in the brain, leading to personality changes, psychotic symptoms, and psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia.

Soda

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk

A Septic System Tell

In poker, a 'tell' refers to any behavior, mannerism, or physical clue that a player exhibits, consciously or unconsciously, that gives away information about the strength or weakness of their hand.

If you live in the country and are the (not necessarily proud) owner of your own personal septic system, you need to watch for certain tells regarding the system's proper function. It's pretty simple, really. If you start detecting the odor of sewer gas and/or water begins pooling around the surface of the ground where your tank is located, you have a problem.

As it turns out, we have that “pooling thing” occurring around our septic tank. This being December in Montana, a spreading sheet of ice has appeared. I first noticed the ice yesterday. Upon further investigation, I discovered the ground squishy and wet near the tank risers. I will call to get the tank pumped and the system inspected first thing this morning. Normally, I am not too excited about getting the septic pumped. Today is an exception.

Septic Tank Overflow

—Mitchell Hegman

An Empty Update

Our master bedroom is empty for the first time in 32 years. I first moved furnishings into the room a week before Thanksgiving in 1991. In the time since, the bed has been replaced once, and dressers have shifted about, but the room has never been completely empty. It’s strange now to find the space empty, as the room is bigger than I recall, and oddly, the years of memories fade into the blank space when it's empty. When I enter the room now, I am swathed in light.

The empty space serves a purpose. Over the next few weeks, I will finish the ceiling, repaint the walls, apply trim around the windows, and change the flooring. This, my mission in light.

Empty Master Bedroom

—Mitchell Hegman

Breaking in a New Pillow

I have written previously about my habit of sleeping with two pillows. One is for supporting my head, and the other is my “hugging” pillow. Throughout the night, the hugging pillow is fluffed, punched, hugged, smothered, wrestled with, and sometimes tossed out of the ring. I honestly have trouble sleeping in the absence of my hugging pillow.

Sadly, my hugging pillow has reached the end of its days. It’s worn out. Last night, I tried a new pillow for the first time. Not good, that. Breaking in a new hugging pillow verges on becoming a full-on bout in the ring. Last night, I got tossed from the ring.

The new pillow is a bit larger than my old one and isn’t quite squishy enough yet. I woke up several times with the pillow on top of me, the pillow having won a round. Late in the night, I woke only to find my left arm entangled in the pillow and completely dead with numbness. I lay awake nursing my arm for several minutes.

I am going to flop down for another bout with the pillow tonight, but only after I deliver a few good punches to it. I plan on starting on top and remaining there this time.

—Mitchell Hegman

Mark Twain

Mark Twain, born Samuel Langhorne Clemens on November 30, 1835, in Florida, Missouri, is considered by many to be the father of American literature. His novels "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" stand tall in this landscape. He was the best humorist of his day and, in my estimation, remains one of the greatest humorists of all time. He managed this while enduring incredible sadness in his personal life. Twain and his wife, Olivia Langdon Clemens, lost three of their four children: Langdon, Susan, and Jean. The tragic loss deeply affected Twain, influencing some of his later works and contributing to his reflections on life and mortality.

We whisked by Twain’s birthday a couple of days ago. Today, after reflecting on him, I thought sharing three of his quotes might be a good way to start the day:

 - "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

 - “Behind every successful man, there is a woman – And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.”

 - “Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.”

—Mitchell Hegman