Martha and I stopped by a Smith’s Grocery in Salt
Lake City to buy a few items, including a bunch of bananas. That’s where we saw “the man,” there at the
banana display. He was holding a bunch
of bananas aloft and doing unspeakable things to them. I swear, if those bananas were a person of
any sex and the man was doing the same things to them, the man would have been
arrested and locked-up for molestation.
I froze in place and watched the man squeezing, poking, sniffing, and,
well, no other word for it, caressing the bananas.
He would not leave them alone.
Martha quickly grabbed her bananas and we whisked
away. But I kept looking back.
The man was still mauling the bananas.
I stopped Martha half-way to the check-out and told
her to look back.
The man was now showing the bananas to another man.
As we turned and walked on I had a little better
understanding of where some of the over-reaching laws developed by law-makers
come from. Mostly, though, I was worried
that the man was going to put the bananas back in the display and leave them there for
some innocent housewife to pick up and take home to her family.
--Mitchell
Hegman
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