An Ugly Baby

Once, way back when I was a junior in high school, I thought I saw an ugly baby.  I was drunk at the time and trying to get to first base (possibly second base) with the girl babysitting the child.  “That is the ugliest baby I have ever seen,” I kept informing the babysitter, thinking that I was displaying some form of charm.

I did not get to first base that night.

I might also add: the baby was not ugly.  I was ugly.

I thought about that baby and that babysitting girl when I chanced upon a curious news article at crazynews.net last night.   The article was about a Chinese man named Jian Feng, who was convinced that he was a victim of marital infidelity.  He became convinced that his wife was cheating on him (with an ugly man) when his wife delivered what he considered an ugly baby girl.

Mr. Feng felt the child was much too uncomely to be a product of his blood.  When a DNA test proved conclusively that the girl was in fact the product of the couple, Mr. Feng’s wife finally admitted a secret: she had undergone extensive cosmetic surgery in South Korea (valued at $100,000.00) before the couple met and married.  I have posted photos from the website.

Jian Feng eventually divorced his wife and brought a successful lawsuit against her, claiming that the entire marriage was founded on false pretenses.  In other words, she was only pretty on the outside.

I am still trying to sort through this story in my mind.  And, just to be informative, I am still attempting to get to first base over here.

 

 

--Mitchell Hegman