Perhaps the earth underfoot is worth more now that it has swallowed Robbie.
This
is by Robbie’s own accounting, of course. In a practical way of thinking (as
opposed to the emotional), Robbie imagined he would be more valuable if he
swallowed things of value.
As
near as I can tell, a realistic 2025 estimate for the elemental value of a
human body is around $130–$150, assuming you’re just breaking it down into its
basic elements—oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, and our weird mix of trace minerals.
That’s
not terribly valuable, and maybe that’s what Robbie considered when, at the age
of about ten, he swallowed a small piece of flint he’d found on one of our
excursions into the open fields near our hometown. “There,” he said, “now I’m
worth something.”
Looking
back, I realize that swallowing sharp rocks is likely not the best idea, but at
ten years old such judgments are unreachable. At the time, there seemed a firm
logic to his thinking.
I
lost track of Robbie as we entered our teens. Perhaps he escalated to
swallowing sapphires and gold to appropriately increase his value. I can’t be
sure. But he passed not long ago and the ground swallowed him. Surely the earth
is more valuable when it swallows your friends.
—Mitchell
Hegman
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