My New Habit

I’ve developed a new habit. I’ve started talking to the drivers of other cars as I negotiate traffic in town. Mind you, they can’t hear me. They’re in one car and I’m in another. And I’m not bellowing at them. I’m actually speaking in my calm, nurturing voice.

I coax them along:

“Pay attention, Dude… Stay in your lane… Right on red, Lady… Give me a signal… I go, then you go… Easy peasy… Take your proper turn at the four-way…”

When I’m driving alone, I talk my way through the entire trip. If I ever get in a wreck, I can already see myself explaining it to the responding police officer. “I told that guy not to pull out, officer. I said it twice.”

—Mitchell Hegman