The One Joke I Remember

The one joke I remember came to me when I first woke this morning.  The joke is from Steven Wright, arguably the best deadpan comic ever.  The joke goes like this:

“Did you sleep well last night?   No, I made a couple of mistakes.”

Thinking about the joke, I started laughing outright.

The joke was funny because I made a mistake while sleeping last night.  I slept with my left arm angled awkwardly underneath the sprawled-out rest of me.   I awakened to find my left arm feeling like a dead eel attached to my shoulder.  I could not move it.  My nerves were playing tennis in my fingers and racing fast cars up and down the length of my arm.

I flopped around on my bed, continuing to laugh and trying to shake sense back into my arm—trying to force the nerves and muscles back in order.

“What a dumbass,” I thought, “you cannot even sleep properly.”

--Mitchell Hegman