Difficult as this might be to fathom, there is a “chronic shortage” of naked men in the United Kingdom. In London, at the very least. When I first saw a headline proclaiming a shortage of naked men in the Mirror, I got somewhat excited.
I can do naked!
Finally, a place that really needs me!
My excitement waned quickly as I read deeper into the article. Apparently, the required naked men must be good-looking, muscle-bound, and younger than me. The shortage is actually specific to a company called Butlers with Buns—a provider of male strippers.
So serious is the shortage of buff men willing to wiggle around naked at parties and other social gatherings, Butlers and Buns issued a broad public appeal in hopes of finding men.
My only hope is that the shortage eventually ripples across the pond and reaches up or down to my demographic, depending upon your perspective. For the sake of decorum, I will spare you any descriptions of my exact demographic.