Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Monday, November 27, 2017

Some Assembly Required, Part 2

Yesterday, I saw my sister and brother-in-law again.  “How is the electric fireplace assembly going?” I asked Terry.
“Since today is the Sabbath,” he said, “I thought I might rest and not work on the project.”
“Probably a wise choice.  Just leave it right there at step five-and-a-half and give your mind a break.  I’m sure the final assembly will gel when you get back at it.”
Terry rubbed at his chin thoughtfully.  “I am a little concerned about one thing.  Part of step five required me to drill some holes.  I’m worried those will come back to haunt me somewhere around step fourteen-and-a-half.”
At this point, my sister Deb chimed in.  “Maybe,” she suggested, “you could try drinking less beer when you work on it again.”
Terry and I exchanged glances of disbelief.
“I don’t know where that came from,” I told Terry, “but it’s just crazy-talk.  You and I both know beer is a necessary part of building fireplaces.”  After a moment of reflection I added: “It is a little weird that you have to drill holes.  I wonder why they don’t drill all the holes at the factory.”
Terry shrugged.  “No idea.  The more I see, the more I think they could hire me to help them write the assembly instructions.”
I nodded.  “You may be onto something.  Write them the way you talk.  A few swear words here and there might be helpful as you’re reading along.”

-- Mitchell Hegman

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