Some Assembly Required: Final Report

The assembly of my brother-in-law’s fireplace is complete.  Perhaps, more importantly, it functioned properly when we plugged it in.

As mentioned in a previous installment here, the very first line of assembly instructions suggested two adults would be required for the project.   In my way of thinking, three adults would be better.  One adult to read the instructions over and over and over (perhaps while stomping their feet).  One adult acting as an interpreter to convert the instructions into a language comprehensible to normal Montanans.  And, finally, one adult with a complete set of Philips screwdrivers and plenty of beer.

Five days ago, at the outset of this undertaking, I never imagined I would be the second adult involved in the electric fireplace assembly, but there I was, late yesterday afternoon, with screwdriver in hand.  Terry and I burned up some 45 minutes installing the cabinet doors and fastening into place the actual fireplace insert.   

The 45-minute mark is interesting.  The instructions suggested the entire fireplace assembly would take that amount of time.  While we were sipping on a celebratory glass of Scotch at job’s end, I asked Terry how many hours he had into the project.  “What do you guess?  Eight hours or so?”

“More,” he said.  “Maybe ten hours.”

“Well, it’s a done deal, now.”  I tasted a bit of my Scotch, still somewhat haunted by my sister’s outlandish suggestion a few days ago that drinking less beer might make for a smoother assembly.

Posted today are two photographs I captured with my smarter-than-me-phone yesterday.

--Mitchell Hegman