Cat Food Accident

I had a cat food accident this morning.

I’ll get to that in a moment.

When I had 40 pounds of housecat (that’s 2 cats times 20 pounds each), they sometimes engaged in spats at feeding time.  Both of them were particularly excited when I dished out their canned food.

They were not opposed to stealing from one another.

I must tell you, based on the aroma alone, I never understood their excitement.  And after my cat food accident this morning, I can assure you, my remaining 20 pounds of housecat need not worry about me high-grading the best of his food.

I don’t think there is any best.

About the accident.  It’s a bit complicated, but the short version is this: I accidentally got a taste of my remaining cat’s Fancy Feast “Savory Salmon Feast.”

Not savory at all.

Not precisely a feast, either.

I like salmon, mind you.  I very nearly ordered salmon at a restaurant last night.  But Savory Salmon Feast tastes more like yuck, but with at least five more vowels and expletive attached to it.

After accidentally ingesting a bit of the cat food, I tried to read the label on the can to see what the stuff is made of.  My guess is salmon buttholes and slime.  The print is way too small.  Additionally, the white lettering against a salmon-colored background went all disco-lighting in my eyes.  I ended up wobbling away from the can—just like it was the 1970s—unable to read anything.

Oh, one last thing.  Water is the answer here.  If you ever have an accident like mine, drink lots and lots of cold water.

--Mitchell Hegman