Wedding Rings

If we are going to talk about my wedding ring, we will need to use the plural: rings. One ring will not suffice. In fact, two or three will not suffice. This is because I have a knack for losing them.

Desiree and I have been married since June 2022. In the time between then and now, I have lost four rings.

The first band was a legitimately valuable platinum piece. It somehow worked its way off my finger along a stretch of Lake Helena Drive while I was collecting litter strewn alongside the road. We tried, to no avail, to find the ring with metal detectors. From that point on, I started wearing rings made of silicone, which can be purchased for as little as $3.88 for a set of four.

I lost (and likely buried) the second ring while planting a bush alongside the house.

I felt the third ring slip off while snorkeling among coral formations at the edge of deep waters off the island of Palawan in the Philippines.

I’m not sure where the fourth ring went.

I nearly lost (at least temporarily) the fifth ring a couple of days ago while assembling items we need for making jam. Just as I was about to place a couple of stray jars in the tub in which I was collecting things, I peered down and saw my ring there.

Maybe it’s time to consider a wedding ring tattoo.

Silicone Rings

My Ring in a Tub of Canning Goodies

—Mitchell Hegman