Sending the Wrong Message

People can be strange.  Some people park sideways.  Some listen to awful music.  Others paint their houses the wrong color.

Just the same, overall, I like people.

Facebook is all about people and I have adopted what I would term as an “open” posture regarding friends on this platform.  I accept the friend requests from pretty much anyone with what appears to be a legitimate profile.

The other day, I accepted a friend request from a woman with no mutual friends and no other notable connection.  Not long after accepting her as a friend, she sent a couple greetings on Facebook messenger.

It was pretty obvious she was flirting with me.   With that in mind, I responded: “I am a happily married man and I don’t talk with other women because my wife is the best!!!

Sometime later she responded: “Are you stupid?”

After laughing so hard a nearly passed out, I answered: “Yes, I am.”

—Mitchell Hegman

You Can’t Have All Good Days

On a drive home from town, I spotted pair of dead geese frozen together in ice that had developed overnight on a small pond.   Later, I had to stop and pick up a few pieces of litter from along the road near my house.

The littler included a bottle, two cans, and a discarded Styrofoam fishing bait container.   Reading the message on the container made finding it both ironic and frustrating.

Ironic Litter

—Mitchell Hegman

Failure (As Seen by the Thoughtful)

 I can accept failure; everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying.

—Michael Jordan

 

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.

—John Burroughs

 

Success and failure are equally disastrous.

—Tennessee Williams

 

Success is 99 percent failure.

—Soichiro Honda 

List of Warnings you Don’t Want to See on a Prescription Drug You Need.

Following is a list of warnings for Cide-Effex (a drug I made up):

1. Do not take Cide-Effex if you plan on eating within 72 hours.
2. Cide-Effex may be harmful to left-handed people.
3. Stop taking Cide-Effex and call your physician if you develop an overwhelming urge to move to Western Canada so you can teach Canadians how to pronounce the word “about”.
4. Do not allow anyone you love to take Cide-Effex.
5. Cide-Effex has been linked to demeaning plebney (See Mad Magazine, Winter 1974).
6. Cide-Effex may be safely taken by lizards.
7. In certain instances, Cide-Effex may lead to a loss of critical thinking.
8. Do not play checkers after taking Cide-Effex.

—Mitchell Hegman

It’s That Simple

Using the last couple days as my frame of reference, I figured out what I don’t like about a sunny but windy day.

Here it is.

I don’t like the fact that it’s sunny but windy.

—Mitchell Hegman 

I Feel Love

Posted today is a video featuring the Blue Man Group with Venus Hum (aka Annette Strean) as the vocalist.

The video is of particular interest to me.  First, some years ago, I saw the Blue Man Group perform the song at one of their shows in Las Vegas.  More notably, I discovered that Annette is a Montana native.  She grew up in Whitefish, the daughter of a logger.

Upon discovering this, I found her personal profile on Facebook and sent a friend request.  Apparently, thinking I was your garden variety stalker (or some equivalent), she never responded.

I got over the friend request thing and I am now Facebook friends with one of my old coworker’s dogs.

—Mitchell Hegman

Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFgIcD02Lxo

The Netherlands

While elbowing around on the intent, I chanced upon a video proposing to dispel myths about the Netherlands.

I know a little about the place.  The Netherlands is a sovereign state in western Europe.  It functions as a constitutional monarchy and is most widely known for wooden shoes, windmills, and vast fields of colorful tulips.

I really don’t have any myths I need to dispel.  So, I didn’t take the time to watch the video.  But I got to thinking about all that a bit later.

There is one thing.

You need to know that the Netherlands is not to be confused with your nether regions.

—Mitchell Hegman