Albert Einstein and Napoleon Bonaparte Trout Fishing

Albert Einstein and Napoleon Bonaparte were trout fishing together along a small mountain stream when a sudden rain forced them to huddle together under a large cottonwood tree.

“I have always enjoyed the rain,” Napoleon remarked as rain pelted the landscape around them.  “The sound of it is not so different from that of a marching army.”

“Army, yes.” Einstein said, nodding.  “I have always appreciated how you suggested ‘An army marches on its stomach.’  At the root level, we all march on our stomachs.  It really is that simple.”

Napoleon did not respond immediately, instead, he swished his fishing rod before him as if it were his sword.  “I have been thinking about the universe,” Napoleon admitted at length.  “I have a root level question about that.”

“I am pretty good with the universe,” said Albert Einstein.    

Napoleon smote the last invisible enemy soldier before him with an efficient swish of his fishing rod.  “Perhaps you can tell me.  Why does the universe exist?  Is there some necessity behind it?” 

Einstein did not hesitate in answering.  “Ah, yes, there is the question.  The answer is situational.  For the moment, the universe is required so rain water can fall and replenish the creek, which provides a place for trout to exist.  And we, my friend, could not fish but for the trout in this creek.”     

—Mitchell Hegman

Impractical Solutions

Here is a list of impractical solutions I would like to use at least once:

1. Defrost my old-timey upright freezer by opening it up and shooting at the ice buildup with a BB gun.

2. Use a honey badger (instead of my live traps) to catch mice in my house.

3. Beat the heat by crawling into bed with two bags of frozen peas and one bag of frozen mango slices.

4. Balance my checking account by choosing magic numbers I like (likely a series of eights).

5. Start a campfire with a flaming arrow shot from a distance.

—Mitchell Hegman

What is Your Descriptor?

I have been watching a bit of the Summer Olympics.  I particularly enjoy watching gymnastics and diving.

While listening to commentators discussing the performance of the divers, I got to thinking about my day-to-day performance.  Specifically, I wondered what diving descriptor would best fit me, generally speaking.

Even at this late age I remain hyperactive.  I think I tend to over-rotate.

What about you?

Do you over-rotate or under-rotate?

—Mitchell Hegman

An Ugly Start

Otto von Bismarck once quipped: “Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.”   The implication being that a horrendous mess and level of ugliness underlies the process, but the end product appears well-ordered and reveals none of that.

Let’s go with “yes” on this one.

Nearly all of my projects start with ugly.   I suppose it’s my nature.  I tend to organize after the fact—not during the process.

Yesterday, I needed two nuts and two bolts and then needed to drill two holes to complete the venting panel I made for my sunroom’s air conditioner.  Posted is a photograph of only part of my the process and then the final product.

I reclaimed my kitchen counter late in the afternoon.

My Kitchen Counter

End Product

—Mitchell Hegman

Bubbles in Beer (Science at its Best)

If you have read this blog for any length of time, you have witnessed me poking fun at what I considered frivolous scientific studies.  Today, we celebrate a study I wholly endorse.  Someone finally got around to answering this important question: How many bubbles can be produced by a single glass of beer?

It’s a valid question.  And, considering that archaeological evidence indicates humans have been successfully brewing and drinking beer for at least 5,000 years (possibly for as long as 13,000 years), it’s about time we figured out the bubble thing.

Our hero in the beer-bubble-counting venture is Gérard Liger-Belair, a professor of chemical physics at the University of Reims Champagne-Ardenne in France.  Previously, Liger-Belair determined that one flute of Champagne (a 6-to-10-ounce glass) produces about 1 million bubbles

Beer is a much better producer of bubbles.  Leaning on carbon dioxide (CO2) as the agent for creating bubbles, a single half-pint (8-ounce) glass of beer can bring forth up to 2 million bubbles.

And bubbles aren’t just for show, they are important in matters of taste.  According to the research: “When bubbles in a beverage pop on a drinker's tongue, they enhance subtle flavors; by studying effervescence in liquid, scientists can learn how beverages behave under different conditions and how that can affect their taste.”

Solid scientific work right there.

After reading about all of this, I poured myself a glass of Cold Smoke Scotch Ale.  This is my favorite beer, and it’s brewed right here in Montana.  The term “cold smoke” is used to describe the puffs of powder snow issued by a downhill skier cranking turns down through freshly fallen snow.

Cheers!

My Glass of Cold Smoke

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: livescience.com,  Mindy Weisberger - Senior Writer

My Good Fortune

My throat was a little itchy yesterday morning.  Then, while doing a little electrical work in my sunroom during the cool morning hours, I got something caught in my right eye.  Thankfully, whatever was in my eye refused to wash free for the better part of three hours and annoyed me so much, I forgot all about my throat.

—Mitchell Hegman

Fifty Days of Purple

As of yesterday, the antique bottles I placed in my homemade UV light chamber (aka my extra trash dumpster), have been immersed in light for fifty days.  The three bottles I placed in the light have definitely taken on a deeper shade of purple, but I want more. 

I am willing to soak the bottles in UV light for several more weeks and allow the manganese dioxide in the glass to contribute more color.

Posted today is a photograph from day one and a photograph from day fifty for comparison.   The comparison photographs do not render the colors appropriately, but you can definitely see the color deepening within the glass.

I have also posted a photograph of one of the bottles in natural light to more accurately reveal the color.

Purple Bottle

Bottles on Day One

Bottles on Day Fifty

—Mitchell Hegman