An Adult Observation

I had to do a bit of shopping at Costco late yesterday afternoon.  The store was swarmed with people—many purchasing items for their Thanksgiving dinners.  Before I got started with my own list, I stopped at the bathroom.

The bathroom bustled at a level comparable to the checkout.  Men were starting to stack up at both the urinals and the sinks.

Thank you for washing, by the way.

When I spotted an open urinal, I walked over and sprayed all over the place, as is my normal habit.

I have been going to the bathroom for as long as I can remember and I have been in countless restrooms.  In all of my time, I have never been witness to anything like what occurred when the man next to me finished his time spraying down the place.

Some men make a pretty big deal of shaking off their little winky.  I have seen guys hopping as they shake.  Some men seem to have a bit of a ping pong match going on down there.  Yesterday, the man next to me went wild when he got to his shaking-the-winky point.  As one of my buddies would describe such an event: “He went about it like a man killing snakes.”

The man started to flail all over the place, almost as if he was warding off a vicious attack from his own feral penis.  If not for chest-high metal dividers between us, I think he might have knocked over at least three other men.  The whole line of men facing the wall at urinals swiveled their heads to see what the hell was going on.

Frankly, I felt a little uncomfortable and exposed.

I quickly finished up, washed my hands, and scurried out to fill my shopping list.  Having witnessed what I did, I thought I deserved a big bag of potato chips.

I purchased two bags.

--Mitchell Hegman