Over the years, miracles have occurred in the form of images burned
into toast.
Countless visions of Jesus have appeared on toast. Elvis has made a few appearances. Mother Mary, too. A few years ago, a piece of toast with the
image of “Virgin Mary” sold at auction for $28,000.
Images of holy figures on toast are seen, by some, as proof of existence.
Armed with that knowledge, we need to talk about black holes.
Black holes, though theoretical, are widely held by astronomers as
a real presentation found within quantum physics. In simple terms, a black hole results when a
super-dense mass exerts such strong forces of gravity, nothing can escape its
grasp. Everything—including particles
and light—are hopelessly sucked in by inconceivable forces. The mass actually deforms spacetime.
The strangest part of black hole theory resides in the fact light
cannot escape and temperatures are thought to be inversely proportional to
mass. Put in terms we can firmly grasp
in my hometown of East Helena, Montana, this means black holes cannot be
detected directly from afar. Nothing escapes
to tell us they are there. Our best hope
for proof is to detect stuff being sucked in.
All of the theoretical stuff came to an abrupt end in my kitchen
yesterday morning at 11:16 AM. That’s
when the toast popped up in my toaster.
No, not Jesus.
Not Elvis.
A black hole popped out of my toaster,
Proof at last!
—Mitchell Hegman
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