Random Thoughts for the Day

Some bastards need to die twice, just so we can be sure."

• Charles Dodgson (better known as Lewis Carroll) would likely be arrested for child pornography and exploitation if he and Alice Liddell (the little girl who inspired Alice in Wonderland) were 'friends' today.
• A grasshopper will fly as readily into your face as it will fly away from you. (And if you don't believe me, ask Desiree.)
• Never allow someone willing to cheat at either solitaire or golf to pack your parachute.
• In a perfectly balanced system, there is room for a wee dram of Scotch.

—Mitchell Hegman

Pleading My Case

"Let it be known, I plainly forewarned the small fly darting out of sight under the rim of the toilet, that it was a bad idea.  As I pitched in a swatch of tissue I’d just used on my face, I added, “You’ll end up flushed down into hell by hiding there.”

—Mitchell Hegman

The Cat with Nine Lives

The story of the stray cat has its ending, but not the one I had hoped for. After a few false starts, the family hoping the stray might be theirs arrived at my house yesterday afternoon to see the cat. A quick glance confirmed the diminutive kitty was not theirs. Put simply: "No, not our cat."

I had already mentioned my intent to take the cat to the humane society shelter if they didn’t take it. They, a mother and daughter, kindly offered to take the cat to the shelter since they would be driving near it on their way home, and they had a cat carrier with them.

Here is the real story. Cats do have nine lives. I have lived with and loved eight various cats in my life. As I struggled to force this ninth cat (one that lived with me for only a week) into the carrier, I felt all eight of those other cats squirming and joining the fight against me. All nine lives now pushed back against me as I caged the little female.

None of them wanted to go.

Eventually, the car carrying the mother, daughter, and cat in a carrier sped across the open prairie, chasing a self-made dust devil across the bleached grass, heading for town.

I never gave the cat a name.

“Nine,” I thought as I turned away with tears in my eyes.

Nine

—Mitchell Hegman

Morning Report, August 19, 2023

This being Montana, the weather upended overnight. Following three days of triple-digit heat, I woke up to temperatures in the 50s and an expected high in the 70s. In deeply personal news, I am at the end of 5 days fighting Covid. The second day proved miserable. My body felt like a giant toothache, and I didn’t have the strength to stand upright.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Oklahoma, an 11-year-old boy caught a pacu fish. Pacu fish are native to South America and are weird. They have human-like teeth. In my way of thinking, the teeth are especially human-like because they could use a good cleaning. I have shared a photo of a pacu fish.

I may have found the rightful home for the stray cat through Facebook (and will know a bit later today).  Finally, last night we had one of those lovely, calm, and colorful sunsets that makes you want to kiss someone you love just a bit longer.

A Pacu Fish (Photo: NPR)

—Mitchell Hegman

Stray Cat

About a week ago, a tiny cat turned up at our front door. The cat was obviously hungry. I fed it and have been feeding it in the time since. Judging by the cat’s sweet behavior, it has been around people and came from a good home. The cat, a female by the look of things, is showing no interest in leaving our house.

Sadly, we cannot keep the little thing. I contacted the homeowners' association for the subdivision surrounding us to see if anyone was missing their pet. Nothing on that. Today, I am posting a picture of the kitty. I hope someone will either recognize the cat or offer to give it a home. If we can’t find a home for the cat, we are going to take it to the Humane Society. I pray we can avoid that.

—Mitchell Hegman

Useful Flotsam

One of the more unusual features of having lakefront property is the opportunity to collect useful flotsam that washes up along the shore. Over my years of living on Hauser Lake, I have collected hats, swimming noodles, koozies, lots of fishing gear, and a variety of plastic containers.

The last few days have been pretty productive for me. Yesterday, a large plastic planter bumped up against the rocks along my shore as Desiree and I sat in the shade, trying to keep cool. A few days before that, I scooped up a couple of fishing floats (bobbers) from the water.

It beats picking up your garden variety of litter.

Floats

Planter

—Mitchell Hegman

Feng Shui Ceiling

After taking a break from working on my master bedroom ceiling project, I am diving back in. At present, I am fastening a layer of OSB (wafer board) to my framing. This is my favorite part of remodeling. At this point, I am able to enclose trinkets, notes, and all manner of goodies in the hollow spaces I have created with my framing. I started hiding things in my house when I first constructed it in 1991 and have done so many times since.

I stuffed a sheet of stamps from the Philippines and a copy of my book, Taking Measure (which features a photograph of Desiree on the cover), inside one section of the ceiling.

Back in the mid-1990s, Uyen undertook efforts to apply Feng Shui to our house. Feng Shui, for the unfamiliar, is a traditional Chinese practice that involves arranging one's environment to harmonize with natural energy flows in order to promote well-being and balance. Uyen incorporated the five elements (wood, fire, earth, metal, water) in decor throughout the house to create a harmonious environment. She placed mirrors strategically to expand space and reflect light. She hung a chime and a coin at our front door. She also dangled a cut crystal above the door to the master bathroom. Rather than removing the crystal to accommodate the new ceiling, I have shortened the monofilament line upon which it hangs so it will remain in place in the original ceiling space.

Stamp Sheet from Manila

Taking Measure Book

Doorway Crystal (Before)

Doorway Crystal (After)

—Mitchell Hegman