Spoonerisms

A spoonerism is an error or purposeful play in speech where consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched between two corresponding words.  A famous and somewhat crude example is saying “He is a fart smeller” as opposed to “He is a smart feller.”

Spoonerisms are named after a rather smart feller named Reverend William Archibald Spooner.   Mr. Spooner, a Warden of New College, Oxford, was afflicted with a propensity to regularly (and accidentally) flip words in what we now term spoonerisms.

Spooner, who died in 1930, was an albino.  He also suffered from poor eyesight and was said to be somewhat absentminded.  One of his more famous spoonerisms was this: “It is kisstomary to cuss the bride.”

Pretty good stuff, right there.

Spoonerisms and other forms of wordplay are something of a bane in my life.

I enjoy them a bit too much.

In my mind, I don’t walk “around” something.  I walk “asquare.”  I don’t “forget” something.  I “fiveget.”  A carpenter buddy and I have been calling the backing boards inside walls “fronting.”

My list on this kind of wordplay is fairly long.

On occasion, I will fiveget my place and use wordplay during the course of an important meeting or while instructing a class.  I suppose I should, at this stage of my life, outgrow such childish habits.  But…no…I have a few more to toss out there befive my done is day.

-- Mitchell Hegman