Following are a few modest things I want this year:
- I want to see somebody else named Mitch achieve worldwide fame, because we need more noteworthy Mitches.
- Bigger huckleberries.
- Give me one full month where I don’t either jam a finger, stub a toe, or bonk my head on something.
- If I have to cohabit with spiders, I want little, short-legged jumping spiders to replace all the creepy, all-legs-and-hair spiders in my house, because jumping spiders are as cute as arachnids get.
- Find a use for the roll of tar paper in my garage.
- I want to listen to Johnny Horton singing The Battle of New Orleans on an LP record while I watch the turntable spin, a stack of my Legos riding at its center, rotating along just as it did when I was seven or eight.
- See a change in internet query algorithms so Montana is not the first mention when I search for information on “aggressive house spiders.”
- Find an amendment in the governing rules that allows me to reach the end of a rainbow.
- Give me a morning when nothing needs fixing, explaining, adjusting, or improving, and everything is allowed to be exactly what it is.
—Mitchell
Hegman
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