While the rest of us went about our everyday business of
over-feeding the cats and flipping through the television channels to see if
any smart network executive has yet launched the Building Really Useful Stuff out
of Toothpicks Channel, the White House saved us from a Death Star.
That is correct.
A Death Star was on our horizon and few of us took
notice.
Well, actually, there was a petition submitted to
the White House for the creation of a Death Star. The petition was replete with nearly 35,000
signatures and requested the construction of a Death Star for purposes of
national and planetary defense. The
petitioners wished to see the star in place by 2016. In addition to providing an unparalleled
level of defense, those promoting the idea of the Death Star felt that the
resultant construction would be a superior job-creator. The petition had reached enough signatures
(25,000) to necessitate a response.
On Friday, the White House allowed Paul Shawcross,
from the Office of Management and Budget, to announce the decision not to bend
to the will of the petitioners. Below is
the heart of what Mr. Shawcross posted for response on the official White House
website:
·
The
construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than
$850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand
it.
·
The
Administration does not support blowing up planets.
·
Why
would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental
flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
That 850 number-thingy, by the way, means $852
quadrillion. My own mind tends to wander
off and begin maliciously pulling leaves off the nearest houseplants when I see
numbers extending beyond nine zeros. I
am wondering, just the same, if we might find room for at least one more zero
on petitions to the White House before a need for response. (Photo: Lucas Films)
--Mitchell Hegman
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ReplyDeleteThe response from the White House made a parody of the petition. And perhaps, deservedly so.
ReplyDeleteThere are far more dangerous and immediate concerns that we need to work on right where we are than the prospect of a star/comet/planet headed our way. I give credit though to the petitioners' wild imagination. Now if only we can harness that to find a solution to widespread aggression and violence both towards fellow humans as well as our environment, we can cut down on the economic and social cost of living right here on planet earth. No need to construct an $850 quadrillion (!!!) "Death Star" to supposedly spur job creation. That will only serve to pollute the universe with our "dirt."
Thank you Mitchell Hegman for bringing the "Death Star" to our attention.
Your Welcome, Ariel Murphy!
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