Wine Tasting 101

Wine tasting is a pretty big deal.  People actually dress-up for such events.  Entire books have been written on wine tasting etiquette.  Flavor and aroma wheels have been developed to help explain the smell and taste of wine.  If you were ever unfortunate enough to attend a “wine tasting” and described a wine as tasting “good,” a connoisseur might well have socked you in the gut for being crass.

Something is going on in the wine tasting community.  In a word, I think you may describe the activity as “pretentious.”

For one thing, many people at such events spit out the wine after tasting it.  Had you ever tried that at my grandmother’s house, my brother-in-law would have kicked your ass and then my grandmother would have kicked your ass.  Following that, my grandfather would have given you a ride home while driving on the wrong side of the road.

He drank his wine, thank you.

Wine tasters are also very concerned about the grapes used for making the wine.  They ask questions.  What kinds of grapes were used?   In what year and region were the grapes grown and the wine made?  Did California have anything to do with it?  Was nudity involved?

There are virtually thousands of grape varieties in the world.  Unfortunately, the few dozen of these used in making wine are nearly unpronounceable and only one vowel removed from being a prescription of some sort.  Do not attempt to pronounce any of these without help.  There are far more silent letters than you may suspect.  Additionally, the French entered into this on the bottom floor, which added considerable confusion.  A few examples of grape types are: Merlot (pronounced Mur-lo), Cabernet Sauvignon (unpronounceable), Pinot Noir (pronounced with a “no” in the mix where you least expect it), and Riesling.  Wines are generally named for the type of grapes used in their making.

And, lest I forget, there is one easy item to remember—two general types of wine exist: red wine and white wine.  Red wines tend to be somewhat savory in flavor while white wines lean toward the sweet end of the scale.

If you do attend a wine tasting, you will soon discover that those in attendance are concerned about the smell of the wine, the taste, and the finish.  The finish of the wine is what we call aftertaste in more unrefined circles.  And—speaking of circles—many people have developed wine tasting wheels to help describe the wines they are spitting out all over place as they taste them.  Even more strangely, most of the folks spitting out the wine paid a great deal of money for the wines they are not drinking.

Here is an example of a wine tasting wheel I found at winebuyer.com:

One glance at this wheel will tell you that describing a wine as tasting “good” is, at a minimum, profane.  A proper description should be something like: “This 2007 Riesling, from California’s Napa Valley, begins with an oaky aroma that verges on pine.  Though the taste begins bright to bitter, a floral note soon transforms to butter melting across your tongue.  This wine finishes with a silky feel and leaves a hint of autumn in the air.  The wine is intellectually satisfying.”

--Mitchell Hegman