I Can’t Find My Phone (A Conversation)

Recently, my friend’s entire family made the difficult decision to move their mother into an assisted living facility.  My friend’s mother is suffering from dementia.  This has been difficult for everyone.  But, as with all things human, lighter moments sometimes break through the prevailing wretchedness.  I give you, as example, the following conversation.

Friend (answering her cellphone and seeing her mother’s cellphone number on the caller ID):  “Hello, Mom.”

Mother (on the opposite end of the line):  “I can’t find my other phone?”

Friend:  “Did you look in your purse?  Maybe you put it in there.”

Mother:  “I looked there.”

Friend:  “It has to be somewhere in your apartment.”

Mother:  “I have been looking.”

Friend (after a few moments of consideration):  “Are you in your living room?”

Mother:  “Yes”

Friend:  “Look around the room and see if you see your wireless phone sitting on the end table by your favorite chair.”

Mother (after a brief pause):  “Yes.  I see a phone there.”

Friend (fighting the urge to laugh and cry simultaneously):  “That’s great, Mom.  That means that the phone you are looking for is in your hand.  You used it to call me.”

Mother:  “Ohhhh.  That’s good.”

--Mitchell Hegman