Men Like to Pee Outside, Women Are from Venus

I am talking about a real thing.  Men like to pee outside.  All men do it.  We start peeing outdoors as soon as we learn how to walk outside.  I will even admit that I stood outside and peed into the predawn darkness from my back deck early yesterday morning.

I cannot effectively put into words the urge—the feeling—that fills me (and I assume other men) as I pee into the wild while standing there under a cheerful slurry of stars early in the morning.  It is not a “power” thing.  Not a “me versus” thing.  Dare I say it?  I feel a kind of “connection with” thing.  I feel something like a wolf marking my territory, but a little bigger in that idea in a way I cannot fully explain.

Years ago, I and a few of my male friends conceived the idea of peeing down onto the spillway from the top of Canyon Ferry Dam.  And we did so, pressed against the chain-link fence raised to keep us from falling to our deaths.  We clung to the fence, extended our little bits through the fencing, and sprayed down into the roaring expanse.  We peed from the top of the dam on several occasions and only stopped the practice when we discovered how updrafts from the river below turned the tables on us, so to speak.

I have always wondered about the peak of Mount Everest.

Naturally, all of this brings me to the matter of women.  I have not really noticed in any of the women I have known the same urge to pee outside.  Quite the opposite.  Given a chance, most women will readily choose to go inside.  I suspect that differences in both plumbing and wiring account for this.  That is why I headed this blog with a play on the title: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, the famous tome of comparison written by John Gray.

And finally this: last week I saw Janet Mock on television.  I am reluctant to admit this, but I think she is beautiful.  Just so you know what I was up against, I have posted a photo of Janet.

I mention Janet Mock because she began life as a boy named Charles Mock.  Somewhere along the line, Charles had a sex change and became Janet.  I thought of Janet as I wrote this because I am curious…do you think she ever fights the urge to go outside and, well, go?

--Mitchell Hegman