DFS

My 20 pounds of housecat is afflicted with DFS.  Not many people are familiar with DFS, owing mainly to the fact this affliction is localized to an area of precisely my house.

DFS is an acronym for Debbie Feeding Syndrome.

I began to notice the hideous symptoms of DFS the first time I left my 20 pounds of housecat under the care of my sister Debbie when I traveled for an extended period of time.  Really there is only one symptom: my cat thinking he should be fed every time he comes in the house or makes eye contact with me.

With many cats you could solve this problem by leaving a giant bowl dry cat food out so said cats could eat whenever they had the urge.  My 20 pounds of housecat is different.  By different I mean bungling and piggish in eating habits.  He would eat without stopping, eat until he got sick.  For this reason, his eating must be regulated.

My regimen for feeding includes a feeding when I first rise in the morning, a feeding between 4:00 and 5:00 in the afternoon, and a final small bowl of food at about 9:00 in the evening.  I will admit to an occasional snack near the 4:00 mark in the afternoon.        

When Debbie takes care of my cat for me, she also stays out here at the lake.  She is a softy when dealing with cats.  In addition to my normal regulated feedings, she provides snacks, pre-snacks, morsel drops, and some kind of nameless thing in-between all of those.

Whenever I come home after an extended absence, my 20 pounds of housecat is closer to 22 pounds of housecat and pretty much any move I make is interpreted as a signal he will be fed.  He trots off to his food bowl with great expectation at the first sign of me walking in that general direction or opening a cupboard.  When I let him in if he has been outside, he races to his bowl in anticipation.  DFS for sure.

Having recently returned from a trip to Ohio, I noticed something of an uptick in my 21½ pounds of housecat’s DFS.  Raising a cup of coffee for a drink is enough to launch him toward his bowl.  On the plus side, he will lose some weight quickly with this increase in activity.  

--Mitchell Hegman                                                               

NOTE: Kidding, Deb!  Thanks, for the cat care.