I need to share a conversation
with you.
I’ll begin with a bit of
background.
You already know I am functionally
incapable of dressing myself. Oh, sure,
I can pull socks onto my feet with the best of them. I am able to jump into a pair of pants. I fling on shirts with the ease of a
seven-year-old heading to the swimming hole. But I do have some issues.
My problems with dressing
generally fall into one of three categories: mismatching, inappropriate for the
occasion, or inside-out.
On some occasions (not as
rare as I would like), I may mismatch inside-out or dress inappropriately and
mismatch. Additionally, I have within my
closet a few just-plain-ugly and a few outdated articles of clothing that sporadically
filter out onto my person.
Late yesterday afternoon,
that girl and I were invited to a poolside barbecue. I leapt into a pair of swimming trunks and
pulled on a polo shirt as we prepared to leave the house. I was standing in the kitchen when the
following conversation occurred:
THAT GIRL (entering the
kitchen): “When will you be ready to go?”
ME: “Whenever.”
THAT GIRL: “What shirt, other than THAT one, do
you plan on wearing?
ME (squinting as I scanned
down at my belly): “This is not good?”
THAT GIRL: *
ME: “My plan is to wear whatever shirt you are about to pick out for me.”
--Mitchell Hegman
* You know the look I am talking
about….
hahaha!
ReplyDeleteI need help dressing, it's true.
ReplyDelete