A New Way to Measure Age

I remember only a little about the dream from which I awakened.  In the dream, I was sitting in the waiting room at an office, or maybe a clinic.  Somehow, I had managed to sit between a woman in her mid-twenties and her toddler.  The child, a young boy, wore nothing more than a diaper and appeared to be less than a year old.

When I glanced down at the boy, he began talking to me.

Not baby talk.

The boy used complete sentences.  He asked me what I did for a living and asked if I had attended college.  I was shocked by his language skills.  “A little college,” I admitted.  “I am, more or less, an electrician.  How old are you?”

“I am two years and one green pepper old,” he responded.

I found myself immediately baffled.  First, the boy looked much younger than two years old, but he spoke more like an adult.  Secondly, what did “green pepper” mean?

I turned to his mother.  “I’m very impressed with your son.  He’s sharp!  What does he mean by two years and one green pepper old?

His mother smiled.  “When he turned two, we planted a green pepper plant.  A single green pepper grew on the plant.  We ate the pepper the other day.”

--Mitchell Hegman