Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

A Rapid (Often Violent) Weight Loss Program

I just lost four pounds in less than two days—thanks to a rapid (often violent) weight loss program known as norovirus. If you are unfamiliar, norovirus is a highly contagious virus that causes vomiting and diarrhea. It sometimes goes by the garish nickname “winter vomiting disease.”

The nickname fits this ailment well. I actually expelled my contents from both ends simultaneously. Effective, but not pretty. Norovirus, in addition to being highly contagious, has no treatment other than letting it run its course. The illness comes on quickly but slow-walks away when leaving.

I don’t recommend norovirus as a means for controlling weight. In fact, I don’t recommend it for anything. Furthermore, I will be hiding out for the next few days to ensure I don’t spread the dread disease.

—Mitchell Hegman

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