Updated Bucket List

Following is my updated list of things I want to do:

1. Visit Monument Valley.
2. Learn to say “meatloaf” in five languages.
3. Sleep a whole night through without having to get up to pee.
4. Save someone from imminent death or serious injury using only 40 feet of duct tape and a half-bottle of Scotch.
5. Be the person who decides where to place the fuzziness on the survivalists filmed on Naked and Afraid (Note: I would take a few risks).
6. Find a huge, flawless blue sapphire.
7. Prove that the light goes out when you close the refrigerator.
8. Invent a coffee cup that sends regular location notifications to my smartphone so I can find one or the other when I misplace them.
9. Uninvent political expediency.

Monument Valley (PHOTO: Wikivoyage)

—Mitchell Hegman