Not Saved by the Bell

There is likely no certain way to quantify this, but it’s possible I dislike the 1990s sitcom “Saved by the Bell” more than anyone you know.  The character “Screech” annoyed me to no end.  And every comedic situation struck me as too contrived.

Now that I have that off my chest let’s talk about Kevin Bacon.

No, not the actor.

I’m talking about the Kevin Bacon from Vermont who recently sideswiped a Thetford Police Department squad car.

Yeah, that one.

Apparently mister (Vermont) Kevin Bacon struck the cop car and then (sort of) sped off for a short distance before pulling over.

The reason Kevin Bacon smacked the car is more distressing than actually smacking it.

Apparently, Mr. Bacon, age 55, was attempting to find a particular episode of “Saved by the Bell” on his way-smarter-than-he-is-phone when he drifted into the patrol car.  The episode Bacon was seeking, by his own admission, was a certain “Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce.”

A sure miss for me.  Too much Screech, I’m sure.

I cannot fathom a grown man trying to drive a car while watching Screech flit around the place.  At least not on purpose.  To me, it’s a foreign concept—one equally as strange as enjoying popping your knuckles.

Oh, and a quick update on Dustin Diamond, the actor who portrayed Screech on “Saved by the Bell.”  In the after-wash of his fame, he was arrested and later incarcerated for three months for stabbing a dude in a bar fight.  He was arrested a second time for parole violations.  He also made a cringe-worthy sex tape and attempted standup comedy.

—Mitchell Hegman