Problems

• If an appliance isn't working, just like in the movies, it's a bad diode.
• Car won't start but turns over? That's going to cost at least $2,500.
• Finding a wood tick on you can only mean one thing: it's a wood tick, and it's on you.
• You made your final payment on your car loan? You'll need a new car within a year.
• The problem with making your own plumbing repairs is this: for every part you replace, two leaks appear downstream.
• Legally reducing your name to two vowels, while notable, will mostly brand you as a weirdo.

—Mitchell Hegman